The moment of abandonment is a crucial step in the personal history of each of us just as it is that of courtship and the beginning of a relationship, mercatus center and yet nobody talks about it publicly, does not seem to have a shared social space, a ritual to trust .
Builds on this reasoning, the anthropologist Franco La Cecla, through direct testimony, love stories lived and literary attempts to reconstruct the black hole that opens at the end of a relationship. A universe of cruelty and removals that still seems a little suspect and eager to come to light since, mercatus center as told Cecla, just went in search of material came across an unexpected amount of witnesses ready to provide their expertise.
The urgency of telling derives from the lack of a social sharing of mourning, which weighs about who is left out as much as those who leave. The lack of rituals for the separation according to Cecla depends on the fact that our culture and our social relations can not admit that the close.
Quite the opposite of what happens between the Tuareg, a nomadic people on the border between the Sahara and the Maghreb, where when a couple separates is celebrated a feast of divorce. The only rite of abandonment Italian collected from Cecla is more vulgar but equally functional on the outside to purge the pain and the shame of the end of a love: the purcete Friuli.
When two boyfriends instead of married mercatus center friends are sharing marked with paint, like a red thread, the journey from his house even if you do not live in the same country, often accompanied with all the offensive written at one of the parties. The camaraderie takes revenge on love and it does denouncing intimacy, involgarendola ... by doing so, however, assumes a task that would otherwise be confronted with the same love ... the end of a love involves a devaluation , a pilloried, disenchantment and a revelation outside ..
The anthropologist Franco La Cecla able to treat a deadly serious topic such as separations playing in the balance between sociology, anthropology, and the story without falling into wise to insiders or in the manual of psychological assistance. And when you overdo it with quotes Paul Valéry made amends with unknown anecdotes about the customs of other countries. A kind of manual of farewells does not dispense any practical advice other than to accept that the end of a relationship as a natural occurrence.
Despite the huge number of divorces, it is as if he had not changed the utopian form of love as love for eternity ... separations have not created a new mindset more inclined to think that the love stories in life can be few or many. " This is not utopia, but of realism. And here, perhaps, psychology has to add something to the observation of anthropology. The fact is that the breakup, separation, represents a level of destruction is very significant for the psyche of the individuals involved, and for the collective. mercatus center As the statistics of delinquency and antisocial behavior, where industry people (adults or children) involved in precisely the painful events of broken families. The community, therefore, does not produce mercatus center effective and affective ritual procedures governing separations, not for romantic attachment all'amour passion, but because the separation goes against its interests, and against his instinct for survival.
Eternal loves like that of Tristan and Isolde, which are right in the death of the lovers sublimation end of their love sick, have an unfortunate rarity. The rule, much less romantic, pragmatically teaches us that many love affairs end. So love is not eternal, but the eternal lie that makes us believe the opposite? Many blame the crystallization of deception that loves not end, and indeed seem to sublimate, for who knows what strange alchemy, in the death of one of the two lovers, or both together, should be given to romance. The Romantic poets with their troubled and tragic love stories have left a heavy legacy: death is the encouragement to enter the ethereal and Iperuranio lovers' paradise. Whether it's the young Werther or of Jacopo Ortis, the substance does not change: a faithful lover performs with his own suicide and irrefutable an extreme gesture of devotion to their beloved. It does not matter if this beloved, as we have seen in the previous paragraphs, it is only a phantom of the mind, or rather the image is in black and white ... ... of his beloved, filtered as they say: through the eyes of heart. Even before the romance,
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